Blog Reincarnation

Well, I can't believe that I haven't updated this blog in six months. Time flies when you're rearranging your life I suppose. Since my last post I have: finished my Masters degree, gone on a 100 mile solo backpacking trip, lost touch with my best friend and confidant, and moved to New Orleans.

I'm quickly getting settled into my phenomenal new city life. I love the energy of this city, the beautiful houses and history, and the laid back attitude of everyone here. I'm in the process of starting my own business and finishing the licensing requirements to become a Registered Dietitian. That means working full-time for no pay, while trying to make money and start a business in my "free-time."

Which brings me with to the main reason for this blog. So far, the focus has been on nourishment and meditation. Lately I've had time to reflect on the reason that I've been writing this blog or more precisely the reason why I haven't been writing. And that reason is stress.

Stress. Stressed out. That pretty much describes my life. There used to be reasons for my stress: hard family life, high pressure undergrad degree, demanding corporate job, etc. But lately I feel myself stricken by bouts of anxiety for seemingly no reason. I mean, sure--I move all the time and leave loved ones behind, not to mention the pressures of graduate school and application processes. But there's something bigger at play. I feel addicted to stress. Seldom a moment passes where my mind isn't shaking or where my acupuncturist asks me, "Are you a weight lifter?" because of the muscle tension that I carry around all the time. So I try to meditate, and I try to nourish myself, I try to exercise. I try everything. But I'm still left with that shaky feeling.

The purpose of this blog is to chronicle my adventures in stress reduction and provide a space for others stricken with the same stressed out Western lifestyle to watch and maybe laugh at my attempts to be more "centered." So every morning I'll be posting a stress reduction tip. Maybe something about nutrition or meditation, or maybe something just plain crazy--something to appreciate or inspire me. Then I'll post later at night to comment on how that particular stress reduction technique worked over the course of the day. Feel free to join in and post your own comments on how the tips work for you.

Upon Awakening

Last week I posted about a rough morning. You know, one of those days where it feels like a real challenge to peel yourself out of bed to face the day. I had another tough morning on Saturday. I had been overseeing the Bastyr Film Festival the night before, so I hadn't gotten much sleep. Of course I was signed up for a weekend class (what was I thinking?!?) so I was attempting to wrench myself from the covers on Saturday morning for yet another day on the Bastyr campus. Fortunately, the class was "Meditation & Medicine" taught by Joel and Michelle Levey. Wow! Sitting in their class was truly eye-opening. They gave us some great insight and wisdom, including how to start your day!

I tried this meditation, and set the intention to be present for the day. Boy did it work! My whole outlook on the day has changed. As soon as you wake up, before you move or get out of bed, they instruct you to wiggle your toes and set an intention. What a great way to re-frame the day. Instead of dreading getting out of bed, I felt gratitude that I was healthy and able to move. I left the meditation sessions feeling light as a feather. Of course, now that Monday has rolled around I'm feeling challenged to stay true to my intention, especially since I'm behind on my schoolwork after spending all weekend blissed out! But I'm practicing, and I hope that sharing this meditation will help you make more of your mornings enjoyable instead of arduous.

Morning Meditation-Joel and Michelle Levey
In the first moment that you are Awake,
Reach up and touch your heart (or wiggle your toes!)
Be mindful of the flow of your breath
Flowing In... Flowing Out....
Be mindful of your heart beating
Be mindful of your hand touching our heart

Within this flow of mindful presence
Listen deeply into what your heart's deepest wish,
prayer or aspiration is for this precious day and
Clarify this intention...
Dedicate yourself to "living on purpose" and staying true to
your deepest intention for this day
and carry this intention into action
as you go about the flow of moments and actions of this day.

Exactly how you should not start a morning

As the morning light drifts into my bedroom, I wake up hesitantly. The pillow is cushioning my head and the comforter is heavy on my skin. This is my armor. The day looms before me, a shadow of an angry storm cloud bearing down over innocent hikers on a mountainside.

Thinking of all the work to done, emails to check, cars to drive in circles, etc. My bare feet tread the hallway carpet, shuffling and dragging towards the bathroom. For once, I wish that I'd awaken happily and jump out of bed eager to face the day, but it seldom happens that way. My silent journey continues from the bathroom to the kitchen. I gather the empty glasses from the table and they clink together merrily. The rush of running faucet water interrupts my thoughts for a moment, then I silence the stream to heighten my senses again. I love the stillness of the morning. Nothing is yet trembling under the weight of the day. In the stillness there is time for reflection.  This time of reflection is the perfect time for meditation, and yet I don't know how to meditate.

At six-thirty yesterday morning I attended a meditation/yoga class. I'm reasonably sure that I didn't meditate, but then again maybe I did. Most of the class was spent in yoga poses, and I struggled to breathe "correctly" even though the instructor didn't say anything about how to breathe. She didn't say that I was breathing incorrectly, but I felt that I was breathing wrong.  How is it possible to breathe incorrectly? Apparently most of us are inept at even breathing on a daily basis, according to the internet and my psychology professor. The instructor of this class approached me after the session and told me that I'd done very well, but I didn't really believe her and muttered a brief thanks without making eye contact. Then I rushed off to my car, as I was already late for my class--nearly 15 miles away in Kenmore.

So I've enrolled in a class for this weekend which promises to:

"provide an introduction to the five categories of meditation, including theory and practice of each. Faculty will present an overview of research regarding the clinical efficacy of meditation. Implications and practical clinical applications of meditation will be considered as well as the neurobiology of ordinary and extraordinary health. The course will also include a survey of interesting topics/readings regarding neuroplasticity, mindfulness and mastery of attention, neural development and executive cognitive functions, and complementary styles of meditation."

 I realize that the class will start tomorrow. I feel intimidated and already behind in my work. The assigned reading has sat on my coffee table for days now as I delicately avoid even looking at it.  I love to try new things and challenge myself. But somewhere along the way I get discouraged before I even begin. I desperately want to meditate, to quiet the inner voices that squak at me from the moment I wake up in the morning to the last breathe of cool night air. All day these voices pick at me and ask annoying questions like, "Why didn't you finish that yesterday?!" and "How are you going to make it through the day without taking a nap?" I'm looking for a solution to my everyday fears and habits.

Tomorrow evening I will start that journey, and of course I won't even start out on the right foot. I have seven million other things to do, seeing as how I'm also running a "Film Festival" (with hopefully several hundred people attending) tomorrow night at exactly the same time as my class.  How much more distraction will it take before I become incompetent at everything instead of good at multiple things. Well, tomorrow will be the test.

Welcome!

After a six month hiatus, Nourish and Grow is relaunching! Please join me as I discuss the connections between meditation, nutrition, and how to make changes in your life to promote and sustain emotional and physical well being. This blog is a spot where you can come to nourish your soul and facilitate inner growth along the way.

Self-Recognition

On the path to change, there are many different roads to take, and many different people offering you advice. How do you know what to do? Who to listen to when you need advice? It's hard to know where to go when the path that you've always been on hasn't been working for you. It's nearly impossible to re-frame a seemingly bad situation into a story that motivates you to strive for change.

The first step to change is developing self-awareness. You need to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses. You need to be aware of your habits. What you have been doing well, and what you haven't been able to do yet. It's harder than it sounds. Sometimes you have a different picture of yourself that might be the truthful. You may think that your unhealthy habits aren't a big deal. But deep down, you know that they conflict with your long-term health. Right now, it might seem overwhelming to try and change the habits that have gotten you to where you are today. Plus, its hard to know how to change, even when you know that you need to. And that's ok.

One easy way to identify some things that might help you is to examine people around you, or even people you don't know. When you see a person that you envy, or a person that you would like to emulate...take a mental note of why you see that person in a positive light. Then try to brainstorm how they achieve that quality.

Molecules of Emotion

I've been reading Molecules of Emotion by Candace Pert. Molecules of Emotion is Candace's autobiography that details the life of a prominent scientist at the National Institute of Health. Her research career involves the biochemical interactions between the body and the mind--effectively proving not only do your thoughts impact your physical health, but that your physical health can impact your mental health as well. In her book she tells us about her big a-ha moment concerning the age-old question of how emotions transform the body, either creating disease or healing it, maintaining health or undermining it. "Why, it's both! It's not either/or; in fact, it's both and neither! Its simultaneous--a two-way street."

This revelation so powerful, because it shows the link between our external environment and our internal environment. They are one and the same. It also links the importance of what we put in our bodies, i.e. food and drink. There is no way to nourish yourself in only one area of your life. Even the best doctors cannot cure lung cancer patients who still smoke, nor can a pill reverse 50 years of poor dietary habits that have led to heart disease. Modern medicine can buy you more time, but it cannot promote good health.

Motivation?

Sometimes it gets difficult for me to muster the energy to do the right thing, especially when in comes to nourishing myself. There are always days when I don't have the energy to prepare a full meal, or even to go food shopping. So how do I find the motivation to get myself nourished, even when I'm not feeling up to the challenge?
Usually it takes me a while. I'm not the best at motivating myself. In fact, I'm much better at motivating other people. Sometimes when I get home I'm tired and can't find the strength to eat. I usually lay down and take a nap. But it is self defeating because I just wake up later, even hungrier than before. So what is it that I can do to change my mind and get myself where I need to be?
Sometimes just plugging in the stereo and getting some good songs on the radio is the only way for me to drag myself into the kitchen. The other thing that motivates me is the knowledge of what didn't work before. It helps to think back about every other time that I've talked myself out of nourishing myself...only to have to step up later and do even more work to repair myself.